Panic, Loss, & Growth

For those who do not recognize it, This is the face of panic... MY panic.

I remember this exact moment of being trapped under this large man, whom quickly dismantled my game and left me no room. All my jiu jitsu technique was gone from my mind, and I squirmed and bench pressed my way for tiny openings to breathe. I was being systematically crushed. Panic washed over me because "nothing was working". I desperately wanted to escape, not to try and win, but just to get away from the pressure. I was exhausted, I was mentally broken, I wanted out.

20 seconds later, he gave me my wish with a looping lapel choke.

I laid there for a few seconds looking up at the gym ceiling's lights. What happened? Why had my Jiu Jitsu failed me?  Shame overcame me as I made eye contact with my beautiful wife. I had let her down. I walked off the mat towards my team with my head hung low and after a few sympathetic back slaps I retreated to the bleachers to be alone.

I was unsure of what to take away from this experience. I had let my team, my wife,and myself down. I had endured a few weeks of stress preparing for this event and had dreaded it since signing up for it. Overall I had not enjoyed anything about this experience...

That was then...(May 2012).

Here is a little of what I have learned...

I look back on that experience as the catalyst for significantly improving my game. That thought of being trapped and immobilized became the motivating factor for working on escapes, controlling the hips with my open guard, for losing weight, and ultimately pushing me to a new level in my BJJ. Without that "reality assessment" of my game, I would not have the much more rounded game I have today.

I also re-watched the competition footage again, and focused solely on the people in the background. I was so worried I had every eye on me, and felt like each mistake I made was loudly discussed by the viewing public. Each of the people in attendance watching, judging, commenting. I came to the quick realization that NOBODY cared whether I won or lost (I mean people not directly in my life). Some people in the video are causally watching the matches, or focusing on warming up, or conversing with the people around them. I laugh at how egotistical I was in thinking everyone would drop whatever they were doing to watch/comment on my match, and how nervous I was that that might happen.

Finally, since this competition I have met and befriended the person I competed against. Before the competition, I googled all of my potential opponents names to learn about them. I became stuck on him because he seemingly had the most experience and outweighed me by 30 or so pounds. I built him up in my head so much that I feared facing him. When we were slated to meet in that tournament, I was already nervous before stepping on the mat. Fast forward from that competition to a month ago when I changed to Dan Hale's school and I was shocked to find out he trained there. During our first class together I introduced myself, and we partnered together for drills. He was pleasant and laid back; not the person I had built up in my head... We casually rolled during regular training and I found that I was much more effective this time around.

I guess what I learned is that in competition, I am my own worst enemy. I build things up in my head so much that I have a huge adrenaline dump afterwards. In the end I have to accept loss as a possibility, and understand that working myself up too much was my own undoing.  

/Mike

Perfection

I have always felt that with each technique I am shown, I will not use it until it is somehow "perfect" or I have perfected it. That it won't work on anyone until I have refined it to some sort of level I set for myself.

Each technique that I am shown somehow goes into this "magical queue"in my mind where it is waiting to be worked on...Kind of like that waiting room in Beetlejuice, stuck there for all eternity.

I am caught in this vicious cycle. I don't use a technique because it isn't perfect, but I never work on them so they don't get any better...

I feel my ego creeping in again. If I try for the triangle and it fails, who cares?

At least I learned something...what not to do!!

/Mike

Handmade Custom BJJ Belt: Update

Since my post "Handmade BJJ Belt: Reviewing My Eosin Panther" has been so popular, I decided to do a follow up.

I got this belt in July of 2012 (11 months ago at the time of this writing) and have thoroughly enjoyed it. It "feels" like a proper belt, worthy of being around my waist. Each time I reach down and collect it after a hard roll, I can feel how it was handcrafted with care. Time and effort went into this belt.

I have come to love the "waxy" feel of the quality cotton it is made from. Even though the stitching has been put through numerous machine washes, none of the stitches have let go. It is wearing nicely around the edges, and the inner core is beginning to peak through. It is showing wear that only hard fought battles can produce.

It is a source of pride, and is immensely satisfying...

Awesome belt, enough that I ordered a purple belt.. review coming soon :)

__________________________________________________

Like this Review?? Please Comment Below, And Click Here For My Other BJJ Product Reviews
 This review represents my own opinions. I am not an expert by any means in cotton, garment construction, or fabric stress. I am just a regular BJJ student who loves Jiu Jitsu. I consider myself as independent and impartial as one can get. I am not sponsored by Eosin, and I paid for this belt out of my own hard earned money If you have any questions about this review, please comment below or email me at lifevsjiujitsu@gmail(dot)com.  I hope you enjoyed the large detailed photos I included; it is something I think many reviews are lacking. Thanks for reading. 

__________________________________________________

/Mike

New Road...Diet...Exercise...Flexibility...And BJJ

Since I have changed direction in my BJJ journey, I want to outline a new set of goals and strategies. I should start with Diet

DIET

I have always thought of slipping into laziness as one big slide. Something that has large clear signs to watch out for. In reality, I find that my fitness progress slides to a standstill much more deceptively. Laziness becomes a warm blanket I wrap myself in. It becomes easily acceptable to take the easy way out and NOT do any kettlebell swings, or run, or sweat. It is only after realizing that it has been a few weeks since I wrapped my hand around a bell, or did a decent push-up that I recoil in horror..

Did....did I...just completely fall off the wagon (or "on"... I can never remember which one it is)?

What happened? When did I accept my old diet back into my life?.. Gooey, cheesy, pizza three times this month? WTF?

No more......... NO MORE.... I WILL get back to my diet "winning ways".. this has only been a small hiccup in an otherwise great weight loss process.

Salads for lunch, portion control, Home cooked food, controlled fasting, all easily obtainable and repeatable goals... I feel better emotionally, spiritually, and mentally when I control my diet.

EXERCISE

Exercise has definitely been lacking in my life. When I have a hard rolling session, I wake up the next day weak and tired... definitely not where I was 6 months ago. To fix that, I will do:

• 10 min Kettlebells after class Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday
• 20 min Kettlebells at home Monday, Wednesday and Friday
• Sunday is rest day.
• I will take the stairs at every opportunity 
• I will walk around the block after lunch each workday
• Protein shake each night 30 mins before bed

STRETCHING

I have also not met my flexability goals.. I heard somewhere that being flexible takes just as much effort as building large muscles..

• Morning stretches before getting in the shower to loosen tight areas.
• Use the back roller to stretch out my back
• Occasional Bikram yoga
• Use the stability ball

BRAZILIAN JIU JITSU

My game is lacking in several area's and I have allowed the dexterity in my legs to become my sole focus on skill improvement. This needs to change, as it is providing diminishing returns

• I will focus on a more offensive game and stop "flopping" on my back. This is my ego in disguise. If I start in that position and I get tapped,  I can mentally say "Well you started in a bad position so it doesn't really count.
• Flopping on my back, also sets the tone of "I am going to defend instead of attack".
• I will write down the lessons and key points I like... too often I think I will remember and do not..
• I will be a better student. I will listen better, and stop being "defensive" in my learning. I will follow "Learning to Learn's" advice.
• I will loosen up... Jiu jitsu is fun. 

Refining Your Warm-Up Technique

I have come under a new appreciation for the warm ups we are doing in class. I had an epiphany style moment when one of our instructors mentioned to me that my technique was slightly off during the warm up.

In our school, we try and focus on technique based warm up drills that approximately mimic certain fundamental BJJ movements. Warm up motions like "shrimping", the "step-thru from turtle", and "phantom triangles" are common and no doubt your school does some of the same.

At the time I was following the class across the mat; butt scooting forward, then shooting my legs up for the triangle. He mentioned I wasn't really raising my hips far enough off the ground, and that the "bite" with my leg behind the imaginary neck was coming from too far outside of the imaginary body. He mentioned that the path my leg should take should be tighter and follow closer the contour of the body.

It was then that I had the eureka moment. If your technique is sloppy during the warm up drills, then you will have helped ingrain crappy technique into your muscle memory. I think it is safe to say that some of that will be carried over into your "fast response" technique in rolling

Lets say you review triangles once a week (which would be a lot). What carries over more in how you perform a technique? Drilling it properly 15-30 times during the "teaching phase" of that one class, or the hundred times you could possibly mimic it over a typical week's worth of warm ups?

In that instant when you need to call on a technique and not think about it, you brain and muscles quickly recall what they have done the most.

Now... I am not saying that your warm up should be as technically sound as the proper drilling of the class. It is a warm-up after all. But I think by adding a little more thought into how you perform the techniques during the warm up, you can do a lot to improve your reactionary time for certain techniques.

 I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, 
but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.~ Bruce Lee

While I was doing a little bit of research into this, I found this post from The Jiu Jitsu Labratory. If you have time, give it a quick read. I think it's fantastic!

Mike.

Handmade Custom Bjj Belt: Reviewing My Eosin Panther Belt

When I felt was getting closer and closer to being promoted to Blue belt, I started to research what type of belt I would like. My Gameness white belt still wasn't broken in, even after a year and a half of wearing it.... so getting another one of those was out of the question.

The way I always figured it, your belt should be a special item. Some people are content to tie any old belt around their waist but I am not one of them. In BJJ you really only will have 5 belts in your life (maybe 6 ... if you start really young.) Why not splurge a little?

Originally, I got a War belt. They had high praise, are semi-hard to find, and are constructed of gi material. Perfect. I lived in harmony with it for several months, until I read this from Meerkatsu.

Ummm... Why not "invest" in a custom made belt? It's not all that much, and I was growing a dislike for the width of my War belt. The War belt is only 1.5" wide- not what seems to be the standard of 1.75", so it looks a little thin...especially on a big guy like myself.

For those of you just skimming over the article...This is a pic of my WAR belt.....I had a guy at a tournament once tell me this belt looked like a "ship rope"

I had seen an excellent review on Sherdog by "StoicDude"of a Kataaro vs Eosin Panther, and based on the quality and clear, concise pictures of that review... I decided to get an Eosin.

Eosin Panther is a company based in Kennesaw, GA. They have been making belts since 1974, (for what I can gather it has been mostly for the Taekwondo and Karate Industries). I believe they have just recently started making full blown Brazilian Jiu Jitsu belts. The company representative "Mira" has been helpful during each phase of my order, and answered any questions I had.

In anticipation of writing this review, I wrote Mira an email quizing her on the company history. Her detailed response was:

"Our company first started back in 1974, in Clifton, NJ. We are a family-owned company, and Vincent Yi is the owner and the master craftsman of the company. His passion for hand-crafting and embroidery dates back to more than 45 years now, when he first learned to sew and embroider by hands. He’s always loved making things with his hands, and this opportunity led him to explore his creativity and talent...

"...He now operates his company out of Georgia, with the help of some others, and among them are Linda Yi, who is in charge of manufacturing and Mira Ta, who is in charge of sales and customer service. Last but not least, we can’t leave behind our most entertaining employee and our biggest fan, “Clover,” a white lab who is now 15 month-old..."

"...We’ve been going strong for almost 40 years now, and we take great pride in the fact that we provide our customers a very special, custom hand-made belt – made right here in U.S.A.- that they can be proud to wear.”...

There are three areas on the Eosin Panther website where BJJ belts can be ordered from. The "Standard", "Deluxe", and a dedicated page just for their Black belts. Their stock photo of their belt didn't look so great, but I put it all on the line anyway, and ordered myself a deluxe BJJ blue belt.

The belt specs are

1 x Jujitsu Color Belt Deluxe 2 (JCD02)
Width : 1 ¾” [12 Rows]
Size : 6 1/2 [123"]
Firmness : Soft
Fabric : Cotton
Embroidery : No
Production : Regular without Embroidery (1-2 weeks)
Special Instructions : Please make the black bar 5" long and 1" from the end.


I waited patiently after ordering for almost a month while they handmade my belt and shipped to Canada.

This is what showed up...

Greetings from a happy dog named "Clover"

The Belt all wrapped up

I am a big fan of Clover and her work...lol....she does an excellent job as the company mascot. The card is included to help provoke feedback of your new belt and a "like" on Eosin's Facebook page

The Eosin logo on the tape is a nice touch

A nice dark "Royal" blue

This belt is 100% cotton twill

It seems that the promotional bar is sewn on last, and then re-enforced with 12 rows of stitching....same as the belt

Can you find a single loose stitch? or crooked line?..I am blown away by the workmanship that went into my belt.

Another close up of the stitching....straight as an arrow!

In the special instruction section of the order page, I specifically requested that the promotional black bar be 5" long and 1" from the end. I have seen too many BJJ belts that look funny with a 3" long promotional bar that is 4 inches from the end. That is how my War belt originally was until I had a seamstress fix it.  Note: The beautiful square pattern in the stitching at the end of the Eosin Belt.

12 rows of stitching...count em :)

Up close and personal with the Eosin label on the opposite end from the promotional black bar

This belt has a folded over seam on one side. I read somewhere that you're supposed to place this seam down when tying on your belt.

The Verdict

Eosin Panther makes one hell of a belt. If it is good enough for Marcelo Garcia, then I think it will do just fine for me.

Regarding the quality, I could not find a single loose thread, stitch, or seam and the lines are ruler straight. I went with the "soft" option when ordering and find the belt to be a little firmer than I would say the run-of-the-mill BJJ belt is. The order process is quick and painless, with great customer service along the way. After rolling in it just a couple of times, all the creases from being folded during shipping are completely gone, and it is on it's way to breaking in beautifully.

There is a significant hurdle to overcome with the price ("base" price is around $60....3 times the price of a regular Koral belt) though there is the handmade, one-off, "cool" factor to soothe your empty wallet. Quality absolutely oozes from this belt in a way that makes me proud to own it. I know it will not help my BJJ game one single bit, however if I am going to own three more BJJ belts in my time, then I will make sure they are of this caliber.

Eosin has filled a niche with high quality "color" belts, not just black belts,  though check out the black belt..... Who DOESN"T want that one?

UPDATE:

A week in and still going strong...lol

Some "belt in action" pics

UPDATE 2

I wrote an blog post on the belt after 11 months

It is here: "Handmade Custom BJJ Belt: Update"

Enjoy...

Mike.

__________________________________________________

Like this Review?? Please Comment Below, And Click Here For My Other BJJ Product Reviews
 This review represents my own opinions. I am not an expert by any means in cotton, garment construction, or fabric stress. I am just a regular BJJ student who loves Jiu Jitsu. I consider myself as independent and impartial as one can get. I am not sponsored by Eosin, and I paid for this belt out of my own hard earned money If you have any questions about this review, please comment below or email me at lifevsjiujitsu@gmail(dot)com.  I hope you enjoyed the large detailed photos I included; it is something I think many reviews are lacking. Thanks for reading. 

__________________________________________________